There is no way around it, divorce is a really heavy topic. Even when you are the one filing for divorce, it’s tough. When you’re in the middle of divorce and sometimes even for the next few years following, it can feel impossible to think there could be anything good to come from this. So I want to share my own experience, not as an attorney, but as a woman who went through her own divorce the blessings on the other side.
My divorce made me a better mom
Time sharing is hard. Not having your kids all the time is tough. However, I have learned that when you can’t be with your children every day two things happen.
- You don’t take them for granted or get annoyed by the little things as much
- You have time for yourself and your own self care which allows you to have more to give them when you are with them
When I no longer got to spend everyday with my kids, it became about quality over quantity of time. And when my kids were with their dad, I could focus on me which in turn helped me to show up better for my kids.
My divorce showed me my own strength
Following my divorce, I was a single mom to two small children and a full time attorney– I had a lot on my plate. I had to face an unknown future and find my new footing. Tasks like mowing the lawn, budgeting, cooking and cleaning were all mine. This is one of the reasons I think single moms and single dads are superheroes! I had to learn to do things all on my own and depend on myself. It is hard. But it’s not wasted. In the future, you’ll go through hard times but you can pull from the strength you’ve proven to have to get through!
My divorce gave me my calling
My divorce was a very contentious divorce and followed by a modification proceeding then a relocation proceeding. I was in various stages of the litigation process for about five years– it was terrible. Today I have a wonderful co-parenting relationship and a beautiful blended family (did you see my blog post last month about my ten year vow renewal? Check it out here). My experience is one of the reasons that made me want to open my own law firm. My firm allows me to share my experience, strength, and hope with others going through the process. It allows me to bring a little hope and compassion to the family law system. My experience through divorce gave me the courage and motivation to take the leap and open my own law firm. While a law firm may not be in your future, I hope your divorce allows you to find the courage and motivation to chase your dreams.
Please know, it is with time and healing that I am able to look back and see these blessings. In the midst of my divorce, I too wondered if I was making the right choices and if anything good was going to come of it all. Fifteen years post divorce, I can tell you, it will get better, good things are coming your way, and nothing is wasted. Remember, time heals all wounds.