Most of us who find ourselves in the middle of divorce, made our way there after many, many years in a bad relationship. Many of us fought to make it work at the expense of our own happiness and in the process lost touch with our truest self. We are often broken-hearted, hurting, angry and in need of healing. Not exactly the ideal state to face the greatest emotional, legal, and financial challenge of your life – and if you have kids in the mix – well, that just takes you to the next level of hell.
Which is exactly why prioritizing your self-care is absolutely REQUIRED if you are to make it through this season in tact and ready for a new chapter. I preach this to my clients all the time. The clients who take their self care seriously always do better in their cases, are more organized, and usually have more amicable resolutions. That is because they aren’t letting their emotions dominate their decisions, because they are making to time to feel them in the appropriate settings, and giving themselves time to grieve and look forward to a new beginning.
Here are 5 ways to practice self-care during your divorce. Trying even one of them will make a huge difference in your well being.
I know – cringe! What are we in high school? Seriously though – journaling is a masterful tool of healing and self discovery. Divorce is a time of rediscovering who we really are and what we want for our new chapter. Taking time to write about these things allows you to reflect on the past, be introspective, and dream bout the future. It also gives you a safe space to express all your emotions – which greatly reduces the chances of them to come out at inappropriate times. If journaling doesn’t come naturally to you. Use this one, which comes with prompts, I often gift it to my clients who really need it. https://www.amazon.com/True-You-Self-Discovery-Exercises-Reflection
Take a Solo Trip
Spending sacred time alone is one of the most healing things you can do for yourself. May there is place you’ve dreamed of going, but your spouse didn’t want to go. Maybe there is a self-development retreat you’d love to experience. Or just a place by the beach where you can take long walks alone and reflect on what you’ve gone through and where you want to go next. Reconnecting with yourself is essential if you are heal and move on from your divorce.
I am a huge proponent of individual counseling during and after divorce. It is truly essential for you to have a safe place to work out your thoughts and emotions, and have someone to help you come up with strategies for dealing with all of it. Working through the pain of your marriage will help you find a place of forgiveness and acceptance. If your marriage ended in infidelity – counseling is so important. Plus, you don’t want to use your divorce attorney as your therapist, we aren’t trained in it and we cost too much!
Brainstorm + Make a plan
This is your time! Without a partner to negotiate everything with – you get to go and create the life you want to live- on your own terms. Brainstorm all the things that bring you joy. Make a list. AND DO THEM! What have you always wanted to try but never did? Places you always wanted to travel? Classes you wished you taken? Again, self care in divorce is about reconnecting with the true you and reclaiming your identity as a single person. Now that you have your list, pick the top 3 things you want to do and make a plan for how you are going to do it and then put it in your calendar. It becomes much to easy too put our self care on the back burner, especially when stressed out by the divorce process, but it is never more important than now!
These are just a few simple ideas to get you started. Try just one, and you will see it begin to snowball into others. Taking your healing seriously during your divorce is what will allow you to find the love you deserve one day. If you never heal, you will only attract another unhealed person.
Christine Diorio, Esq. is a divorce attorney from Tampa, Florida who specializes in compassionate legal advocacy for her clients. Having survived her own contentious divorce 15 years ago, she has gone on to a wonderful 2nd marriage, beautiful blended family, and even a friendly relationship with her co-parent. Bringing her experience to bear is what allows her to so deeply connect with the clients she works with, providing more than just a traditional legal services, but a holistic approach. She is passionate about helping her clients come through this experience ready for the next chapters of their lives.
Call the law office today to set up a free 30 minute consultation to see why The Law Office of Christine Diorio is where “justice has a heart.” 813.322.2082.