It is common for parenting plans to default to alternating Halloween each year between the parents. For example, Mom will have the odd years, while Dad will get the even years. But what if you both want to share in these memories each year? My co-parent and I decided it was in our kids’ best interests that both of us be a part of their Halloween memories every year. In this blog post, I am sharing the way we worked it out over the last 13 years.
Of course, every case is different, and these may not work for you, but my intention is to help you think creatively. You don’t have to settle for every other year if you don’t want to, there ways to share it while still maintaining your sanity!
Option #1: One Parent Gets Halloween Night/One Parent Gets A Halloween Event (alternating years)
This was the best option for my co-parent and I in the early years when our kids were still young and emotions were still tense between us. For example, I would take the kids out on Halloween, and my ex-husband took them to the Boo at the Zoo event at our local zoo on a different night. We each even bought our own costumes for the kids, so there was no need to negotiate on price or share the costumes. The kids loved getting 2 costumes and extra trick-or-treating! It was a win-win for all of us.
Option #2: Split the Evening
As tensions died down and our co-parenting relationship grew more cooperative, we began to split the evening. I would get the kids costumes because I enjoyed that part more than my ex-husband. I would get them ready and start out trick-or-treating, and then my ex-husband would join us about a half hour in, and take the last half of the trick-or-treating. This worked out well for us for many years.
Remember: The nature of your co-parenting relationship is very likely to change over the years. I’m proud to say that today, my co-parent and I would be able to share the entire event from start to finish together with no issues – but that didn’t happen over night.
This is the magic of mediation and settlement and working to develop a cooperative relationship with your co-parent. You get to take control and craft a plan that serves you and your children. There is almost no likelihood a court would ever craft a plan like this, but would instead simply default to alternating years and the result is everyone misses out on what could otherwise be easily shared.